One Missed Call

Let me reveal a little bit about myself here. I hate talking on the phone. And by hate, I mean loathe with the white hot passion of a million suns. Don't ask me why this is. When I was younger, my best friend and I would spend literally an entire day during summer vacation on the phone to one another while watching MTV and analyzing various music videos. (Yes, you can totally have deep conversations about The Safety Dance music video) But now, I find it tedious, agonizing, and pointless. Maybe it's because I just "talked myself out" with those eight hour days, every day, for three months straight. Really, why do I need to talk on the phone and interrupt my life when I can just send a few words via text and be done with it?

I think another reason why I hate talking on the phone so much is the fact I never answer my calls (mainly because I don't hear the ringer due to the fact it's on vibrate all the time because of some loser workplace rules and I don't bother to change it because I'd just forget it was no longer on vibrate and then when it rings at the worse possible time, like talking to a Lieutenant, I'm stuck with a pre-action. And pissed. And yay run-on sentences). Once I notice a missed call, I'm usually driving to or from work and think about calling the person later. But, I always forget the person has called and the vicious cycle continues. At least with a text, I can text them back whenever I get around to checking my phone and, in turn, they can get around to texting me back whenever they bloody well feel like it.

This isn't just a phenomenon with folks I know. I dread ordering take-out because I seriously cannot talk to people on the phone. Pizza Hut surely are men among men for giving me the option of ording my pizza online. And if I get a phone report at work, I just about go insane. I'm certain I sound like a maroon on the phone and I never know what to say. Give me a face-to-face interview anyday. This is also the case with prospective schools. I can get through the online admissions just fine and dandy, but once they start calling, uh-huh. No way. Can't do it. It needs to be face to face, which is very hard considering my schools of choice are on the other side of the Mississippi*

I also don't like taking time out of my life to talk on the phone. Does that sound awful? It does, doesn't it? See, I have my entire day, every day, planned. I know what I'm going to get done that day and fielding calls just doesn't fit into the game plan. Mainly because I just forget about checking my phone for a few days or so (especially if I'm on my weekend) and it just seems ridiculous to try and call them back 30 hours after the attempted phone call took place. I don't know, maybe I'm just weird. Or maybe I'm not. Am I truly the only one who doesn't like talking on the phone? Or discussing music videos as if they were cinematic masterpieces?

Besides, remember, this is what happens if you do answer that ringing phone:
'Nuff said.

P.S. OMG, I totally forgot Skeet Ulrich was in Scream. He is yummy. He's like a poor man's Johnny Depp. Did ya know his real name is Bryan Lee Trout? Which means, if we were to ever get it on, I'd have to call him Johnny. I'm sure he'll be fine with that. When it comes. And I have no reason to believe it wouldn't. And you know he was totally called Bryan Lee growing up in North Carolina. Not Bryan. Not Lee. But Bryan Lee. And this is why we could never date and get married.

*Did anyone else have a sadistic teacher in elementary school who wouldn't hand you the bathroom pass unless you spelled Mississippi correctly? Teachers in the 80's were horrible people.