The Indian In the Cupboard Cont.

Okay, and we're back. Get caught up, if you haven't and let's get this show on the road.

Omri has just finished supper after kicked Patrick to the curb and promising to bring the cowboy to school. Omri, you really don't have to do that. You wouldn't like it if roles were reversed and Boone dragged your ass to the saloon or something. Omri takes stock of his room, satisfied he'll be able to keep Little Bear and Boone apart so Little Bear doesn't end up scalping Boone, because that is something Little Bear would definitely do. Because he is a badass. He's also hardheaded and poor little Boone doesn't really stand a chance.

Omri brings Boone a little bottle full of water and Boone flips his lid, screaming at Omri to take the drink away because he's sure as hell never gonna drink anymore! I wouldn't either if I woke up in a cupboard and was the size of a chickpea. Omri argues it only water, but Boone ain't having none of that. He yells at Omri a bit about how he probably does drink too much and how it ain't fair to see giants and blue deserts and put in a box the size of the Grand Canyon with noone but his little hoss for company. Then he breaks down into tears which breaks Omri's heart. Mine too, I confess. So, Omri leaves him alone to give his some private time and goes to see what Little Bear's up to.

Little Bear's finished painting his tepee and is settling down for the night. Omri asks if he needs anything (really, Omri? Of course Little Bear is going to need something). Little Bear demands a fire to keep animals away, a tomahawk (to which Omri quips "So you can chop bits out of my leg?" which Little Bear threatened earlier and I forgot to mention. Little Bear waves him off with a half-hearted apology and steams right along) and fish to kill. Omri's gives him the ole "maybe" which we all know really means "no" because we all have parents. Little Bear tells Omri he can wait for everything else, but he wants a fire because he's the Chief and he said so. Oh, I do love Little Bear. He's an inch tall and really in charge around here. And he knows it.

Omri allows him to have a small fire and asks Little Bear if he'll dance for him (dance, monkey, dance!). Little Bear is all like "bitch, please", buit Omri bribes him with maybe a wifey. Little Bear isn't playing that game (he knows what maybe means because he obviously has parents, too) and tells Omri he wants wifey first, then he'll dance. Omri, satisfied, goes to sleep.

He wakes up a few hours later to the sound of gunshots. You can guess where those gunshots came from. He sits up in bed and almost gets hit with an arrow. You can guess where that arrow came from, too. Boone and Little Bear are aware of each others' existence and yelling at one another how they're gonna kill him. My money's on Little Bear. He didn't cry when he first met Omri, he stabbed him. Of course, Boone shot Patrick in the face (have I mentioned I love Boone?) but that really doesn't count. You can shoot anyone from anywhere. Little Bear had to get all up close and personal.

Omri gets them to cease fire (after threatening to squeeze Little Bear if he fired off another arrow) and asks Little Bear what's the deal? Little Bear says Boone tired to shoot him and of course he's gonna kill that cowboy cause white man better off dead because they'll just take up all the land. Sadly, you are right about that, Little Bear. However, there's no land for Boone to steal and Omri tells Little Bear he's Patrick's cowboy and he's just keeping him safe until he takes him to school tomorrow. At that last bit, Little Bear gets all indignant and offended, asking why the white fool with the coward's face (ha! ZING!) is good enough for the trip but Little Bear is not. Omri tells him it's too dangerous, but that amps up Little Bear even more.

Little Bear's attention slowly comes back to Boone (who has a nice scalp, good color, that will look good on Little Bear's belt). Omri reminds him Boone is off limits and Little Bear counters with "Let me kill and I do dance around campfire" HA! Little Bear cracks me up. Turning the bribing tables on little Omri like that!

Little Bear promises not to hurt Boone if he takes him to school and to the lady Indian figurines so he can pick out a ladyfriend for himself. That's a little creepy.

The next morning Omri forces Little Bear and Boone to eat together. Dude should be tasked with brokering a deal between Israel and Palestine because they don't end up killing one another.

It's off to school and Omri keeps his promise to bitchface Patrick. Omri keeps Little Bear in his pocket, out of sight and relativity safe, but Little Bear ain't havin' none of that. He stabs Omri repeatedly. Omri asks him how dare he, to which Little Bear replies "Little Bear dare!" I really love Little Bear. He's pissed he's been kept in the dark for so long. He was expecting to see what was going on and he's pissed.

Omri meets up with Patrick who tells him Boone's been crying again. Christ, Boone. Omri sticks Boone in his pocket with Little Bear, hoping Little Bear can keep Boone company and cheer him up. See, future diplomat here. Little over five hours ago, those two were trying to kill one another. Now, Little Bear's keeping Boone company.

At lunch, Patrick demands to have Boone back. Omri's worried and tries to decline but eventually gives in after Patrick pouted he wanted to feed them. While feeding them Patrick is being a numero uno asshole to some chick who ends up shoving him. I applaud that chick. However, Patrick falls right down right on top of Little Bear and Boone. Patrick wants to keep fighting, obviously not caring he has two little lives in his pocket he nearly killed, but the fight's broken up by a cockney Lunchlady Doris and Omri drags Patrick outside. Omri's pissed about Patrick's behavior, but Patrick doesn't see what the problem is because cowboys and Indians are used to rough treatment. Fuck you, Patrick.

Well, the boys come in late and are sent ot eh headmaster's office. The boys share inside jokes and torment the headmaster who gets all sorts of pissed and demands to know what is so damned funny. Patrick tries to tell him about Little Bear only the headmaster doesn't believe him. Patrick cries and Omri is yanked out of the office which allows Patrick to show Mr. Johnson Little Bear and Boone so he doesn't get into trouble for lying. Oh, take it like a man, Patrick. I really hate him.

Omri's pissed and takes Boone and Little Bear from Patrick. Patrick is still crying, saying how he had to show Mr. Johnson. Omri argues they're real people and Patrick has been using real people and you just can't do that. Good for you, Omri. Little Bear's pissed about Mr. Johnson because he yelled and hurt his ears. Boone is sitting with his hands clamped over his ears. Omri apologizes and means it. Little Bear reminds him about the baby mama Omri promised so they go to the store. Little Bear is not impressed with the selection and orders Omri to find something better. Little Bear finally settles on something and Omri goes to pay. Only Mr. Yapp, the store owner, accuses Omri of stealing Little Bear and Boone. Patrick is there and vouches for the fact Omri came into the store with Little Bear and Boone and Mr. Yapp lets Omri go. Little Bear jokes about how only a fool would steal Boone.

Omri heads to his room and is incensed to find his cupboard is missing! Adiel and Gillon have hidden it because they think Omri stole Adiel's football shorts. Omri's all murdery and tells him he hasn't seen his stupid shorts. They tell Omri the cupboard is in the attic but the key is now missing. Adiel and Gillon have no idea what he's talking about. Little Bear and Boone are upset because the magic is now gone, what with the key missing and all.

Patrick, Omri, Boone and Little Bear try to take their mind off things and settle in to watch a western. Boone gets all amped and taunts Little Bear. Little Bear gets pissed and shoots Boone on the chest with an arrow. I can't hate on Little Bear because there are just some people whoi i wish I could shoot with an arrow. Without the power to bring the WWI medic back to life, Omri forces Little Bear to save Boone. Little Bear does his best, even feeling a little sorry.

Omri and Patrick take turns staying up with Boone, who's knock knock knocking on heaven's door. Omri's mum comes in and mentions Gillon has lost his rat again and that rat seems to have taken up residence under Omri's bed. Got Damn Gillon and that fucking rat!

They can hear the rat underneath the floorboards and Omri realizes where the key is. Seems his pop came in to fix Omri's bedside lamp and the key must have fallen between the floorboards! Omri asks Little Bear to help him find the key and sets him loose underneath the floor to find the key, worried about Gillon's fucking rat. He calls Little Bear back, but Little Bear doesn't listen. A few moments pass and Omri and Patrick can hear Little Bear running toward them, with the rat close behind. Omri snatches him up in just the nick of time. And, yay! Little Bear has the key.

Omri pops the medic, whose name is Tommy, back into the cupboard and brings him to life. Tommy fixes Boone right up and soon Boone wakes up. Little Bear is all happy. Omri makes Little Bear and Boone blood brothers (Little Bear balks because it's a white man custom) and brings the Indian princess Little Bear picked out to life. Little Bear and his woman are married and Omri puts Boone and Little Bear back into the cupboard, ready top send them back to their own time. Omri and Patrick make up completely and they decided to keep the cupboard empty...just in case.

And that's that. I found The Return of The Indian, so that'll be next. Don't expect it too soon. I've got a book I'm trying to work on. But I am so damned happy I found it!!! Also look for Sweet Valley Twins #14 Tug Of War because Jessica looks like she's going to cut Liz's throat while she sleeps.